Withdrawals

Well I had the most amazing trip throughout Europe, hence the long delay in posting. I will plug in some pics later.

The overwhelming feeling right now is sadness. I cannot believe how quickly and wonderfully the last two weeks have gone by. I am in love with Praha (Prague) and seriously want to go live there. The language is the most beautiful I have encountered yet and the folks are just good, down to earth country folks, at least those I met. I expected I would hate being on a tour, surrounded by 30 others, not having much time to myself and following everything in group. And to my surprise, I adored it. Yes, I did feel stupid being part of a "meute" (French word for herd), but the group of folks was amazing. We had two activists women from LA, whom I originally assumed were a couple, and later found out they were good friends, and other fun adults, a group of 22 young adults who sang in venues and churches throughout the trip. (After their first performance, I expected I would grow weary from the repertoire, and now, I keep missing their voices). It was enchanting. Small towns in the Alps, where the town band gives an outdoors concert while two "maiden" serve schnapps and sell CD's, the Montreux Jazz Festival with amazing performances, Vienna (Wien) which is way too stately for me, a hike up a mountain near the yungfrau in Switzerland that took every ounce of energy I could muster with the thinning air, the moon rising over a trio of peaks in that region, and more and more. In addition we had the most amazing young man for our bus driver. A drummer from the Czech republic who embraces values that are immensely dear to me: caring for others, doing the right thing just because that is what we should do, those small town values that are nearly nonexistent in this American world I now inhabit safe for a few of my close friends. My heart is rended being back at home and returning to the humdrum of my routined life.

I could feel the shift in attitude the moment our plane left Amsterdam: the selection of entertainment and food, the rudeness of the staff. I thought "what am I doing living in a world that is so far from my canadian heart?" I felt so at home there, even when in a country whose language I did not understand. It awoke in me some feelings that have laid silent for too long and I do not want them to go away. I am torn between the necessity of functioning in my current work world, and that of my ideal self. I know this too shall pass, but for now I wish to wallow a bit. (The insane jet lag is not helping either, I slept on average 4 hours a night throughout the trip).

Thanks for all your comments to my last post.