Saturday musings

We went to see "stranger than fiction" and I have to say that I really liked it. No unneeded violence, slow, life like pace, good soundtrack. Plus I really love Will Ferrell and Dustin Hoffman. Queen Latifah is not bad either. Tom Hulce was a surprise as he must have gained 60 to 100 pound since I last saw him in anything. He was huge, and looks very different, I barely recognized him. I like this film, sappy ending and all. It really touched me. It vacillated from the very funny to the very tragic, just like life does, and was also very sweet.

On the work front, I'm not so sure I'm very happy with my recent change. Economically, it may be a nightmare, and professionally, I'm not sure my new duties will be clinical enough to keep me happy. I have to wait and see how things shape up and if there are opportunities for any clinical work. I guess it is also tough to go from big cheese to little line worker. There are mounds of paperwork, of course, (what is social work without paper work?, existential question of the century) and maybe very little opportunity to get to know the patients, their families and needs. For example this week, we (me and the woman who is training me) opened 5 cases. Two of them died on Thursday. That's what I call quick turnover! I come from an environment where we spent on average one to two years with a family, supporting them through thick and thin. Maybe once I know more, it will get better. I know I won't miss the incessant calls at all times of the day and evening, but I will miss other things too.

One thing that has been hard for me to hear is that several folks have commented on how relaxed I have looked lately and how I am back to being myself (implied that I must have been a real bitch of late). I wish folks had told me I was so tense or out of control or whatever they saw was not "me." I still feel a lot of guilt toward my good friend and co-worker the "Canadian girl." She has been such a good friend and now she has to do my job and hers, and I worry that she will burn up too. I told her to ask for looooots of $$. The agency need her. I am also considering getting a contract with the agency to continue to provide training and whatever else may be needed.

I also worry a lot about my health insurance. Yes folks, here in the good ol US of A, it is possible for a person to be working 3 jobs, about 45 to 50 hours weekly and not have health insurance. Well I have insurance but it is costing me a lot. $300 for the plan a month, plus since I have some health needs, about another $300 a month. Why do I stay here in the US and not return to Canada, I'm not sure. I guess I like the weather. And Arnold who did not even sign the legislation that only stated that it would consider universal health care. Tsk tsk tsk!