Must be sisters' day

For fault of a better title.

I had planned to write this even before I read Spinsterwitch's post of today. I have been busying myself planning for my upcoming birthday party. I have mentioned that I am turning fifty and it is only fitting that I should design an invitation using the Saturday Night Live character "Sally O'Mally," a dancer, who at the age of fifty can still "Kick, stretch and kick!" Of course I put my face instead of Molly Shannon in the invite, using a little of my computer savvy. As I looked at appropriately goofy pictures of myself taken in the recent past, I was shocked to find out how much I look like my sister. It's not the age thing that was shocking, after all she still looks younger than I do, mostly because she works at it frantically, using a lot of products in the process. Me, I can't be bothered with make up, it's all I can do to get dressed in the morning, make up is just too much maintenance for me. The shocking part I guess is that it makes me wonder what other ways do I resemble her? Do I always tell others what they should do? (I am a social worker and therapist) Do I usually cover with bravado my insecurities? Do I most of the time reject information brought up by others because I just don't want to spend the emotional energy to face something uncomfortable? And I guess that yes, to a point, I am like that. I guess I need to find out for myself if some of these traits are necessarily undesirable, and if so I have some work to do.

It's not that I think that my sis is a bad person, but just that some of her traits have rubbed me the wrong way over the years. Maybe because I see these same traits in myself and fight them. Maybe not. Many of the choices she made in her life I would not have. Finding a whealthy man to marry (who later left her for a younger woman) wanting so much to be a part of his family who live the life of a soap opera, wearing their gold jewelry and badmouthing one another. I never understood her desire to be part of that world. I'm sure she cannot understand my choices, living in a quiet town, enjoying simple pleasures, wearing jeans and t-shirts and not caring much what I look like as long as I am comfy. Gilda Radner said: "I base my sense of fashion on what does not itch." A quote to live by.

Overall, we do share an OK relationship. We talk on the phone periodically, we are pleasant to each other. But the conversation are superficial, and I want substance. It saddens me that we cannot share that. She usually tells me "Can you afford that?" and "This is not the life I wanted" meaning her divorce, not being in her old house, not having as much money, not having friends who all are at the same stage she is in life, and having to do things by herself. Me, I love to do things by myself, I love the diversity of my friends, some have adult children, some have babies, some are in their twenties, some are in their seventies. Oh well, I guess we are different and the same, and I should find some peace with that. I am thankful that we do communicate, even if it is not that often.

Must be thinking of sisters' day